"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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