once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
