i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We left the knife in your bed.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
