There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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