he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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