FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
