So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
