You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
