put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
