This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
