You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Of course I have a pirate flag
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
