I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
