i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Randomize