i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
