no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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