the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Mom said you looked used
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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