I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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