I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
