Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
vagina is talking i cant
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize