wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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