K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
