does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
