do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
