I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
