i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
