Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize