I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
