That's intense
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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