We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
