i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
