five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just want nice things and good sex
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
