found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
