i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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