and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
