Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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