So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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