I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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