quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
