apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
