i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
