Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
