Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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