im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
