Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
