I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
