dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
