Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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