12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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