dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize