Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
