If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
