dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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