but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
