i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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