I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My vagina is officially offended.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
