Already got asked if we're dating
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize