I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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