if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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