Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
