So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
