Heybabeimwearingurpanties
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
