Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
