fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
