I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
