do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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