oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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