Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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