Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just want to make out with him forever
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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